That’s What He Said

“I can’t trust a girl that is known to gossip.”

Oh my gosh.  Girls, as a dude, there are few things I HATE worse than a girl who is a ’spreader’.  Problem is, most people don’t even realize that they’re doing it.  For example, I once was talking with a girl, explaining how she really needed to stop gossiping about another person.  What did she do?  She went and talked to them about it!  Missed the whole point.

One of my wife’s closest friends is a HUGE gossip-hater.  (that’s a good thing!)  She started attending a college group at this great church, but after every service, they would go out to eat and everyone would gossip.  SHE LEFT THE GROUP!  Try to gossip around her- she’ll leave the room.  She hates it.  And that’s a good thing.

God hates gossip.  Relationships get ruined by gossip.  Gossip is a sin.  Cut it out.  Get rid of it.  Don’t let it near you!

But the answer isn’t to simply NOT spread gossip.  The point inside just to shut up.  It’s to go in the opposite direction- speak the truth in love.  RUN AWAY from gossip.  Pray for those around you.  Tell GOD on them!  Let your conversations consist of encouragement, laughter, prayer, and admonishment.  Sharpen each other.

Have a great day girls.

This is Jessica.

A quick bio on this lovely lady:

She is 22 years old.  She lives in Burlington.  She works with kids and teens.  She loves to travel and explore.  She wants to have at least 8 kids someday.

She grew up in the backwoods of Mattawa on the Quebec border.  She is passionate about the Middle East.  Her family spent a stint as a Mennonite.  She is the second eldest of six kids (five girls).

She once got off a highway 3 exits early to get away from a guy who was checking her out!

By choice, she has never kissed a boy….well, at least since she was six!

And yes, she was one of my many childhood crushes.  Less than two years ago, after not seeing each other for ages, we met up randomly at a coffeeshop near her grandma’s house.  We talked and she was feeling ready to move out.  I said “move to Hamilton!”  She had been thinking that way, and after praying for a while, she did!

In the past 4 years she has led in two different youth groups, serving mostly high school girls.  She loves them dearly, and prays often that they’ll live like Jesus.

Here’s why I like her, and why you’ll like her too:

She’s a great servant leader.  She will do anything for you.  She works HARD.

She is VERY generous.  She is a HUGE part of the reason that The Sex Rev even exists.  She buys flowers for my wife, putting me to absolute shame.

She is absolutely committed to her purity and right living.  She spends tons of time with God, and has surrounded herself with godly relationships.

She’s great.  She loves people.  Seriously, I had to DIG for pics of just her, because every shot shes’s in is with other people!  She’s a great listener and a wise talker!

Jess will be posting on No Boys Allowed about once a week.  Believe me when I say this- she is worth your time.  She is worth listening to.  Learn from her. She has such a huge sense of understanding and perspective.  She knows what’s what.  Follow her as she follows Jesus.

Are you ready?!

So girls, I understand that you are probably sick of me already.  Accordingly, I would like to introduce you to one of three sistas who will be blogging on The Sex Rev regularly.

This is Andrea.

Andrea is 22 years old.

Andrea is a girl.

Andrea is the oldest of 3, with two younger brothers named Dan and Michael.

Andrea adores children.

Andrea loves photography.

Andrea has volunteered in youth ministry for 6 years, mostly with high school girls.

Andrea has travelled to at least nine countries.

Andrea is majoring in History at Tyndale University College.

Andrea once forced her brother Daniel to eat a homemade salad consisting of mud, sticks,  sugar, and cheese whiz.

On top of wanting to someday be a wife and mother, her big dream is to work with teen girls in a mentoring and counseling capacity.

She is a tea fiend.

Here are a few of the reasons that I like Andrea:

1. She has an excellent sense of style…I like hanging around her because it makes me look cooler.
2. She is pretty easy going.  You definitely don’t need to have pretense or fake it around her.  Just relax.
3. She is very trustworthy.  Good luck getting a secret out of her.  Believe me, I’ve tried.
4. “How much do you love Jesus Andrea?”  “umm…alot ALOT!”

She is one of my closest friends.  I won’t tell you any more.  I will let her do that in the weeks and months ahead.  Hopefully she can be a wise source of counsel and an excellent source of wisdom and inspiration to you.

There is MUCH that you must learn from Andrea.  She’s had struggles.  She knows what’s up with dating. She’s building strong relationships.  Follow her as she follows Christ.  Listen to what she says, and find ways to download it in your own life.  You need to find people like Andrea in your own life.  Trust me, it’s worth it.  This girl will knock your socks off.

Are you ready?!

Is there anything else about Andrea we should know?!  Got any good stories?!

So girls, I understand that you are probably sick of me already.  Accordingly, I would like to introduce you to one of three sistas who will be blogging on The Sex Rev regularly.

This is Michelle.

She is my wife.  I absolutely love her.  I cannot extol her praises enough!

She was born in Kijabe Kenya, raised in Ethiopia, Finland, and Canada.

We met at the tender age of 12 and shared our first kiss in the summer between grade seven and eight.

Her dream is to work full time at rescuing people from the sex trade.  She heads up a small (soon to be HUGE) organizations called Hope For the Sold.  You can check out her website at www.hopeforthesold.com

I married her in July, and we honeymooned in Hawaii.  Marriage has been amazing so far, and the prospects for the future look even better.  (word to the wise: ignore EVERYONE who says marriage is horrible- they are wrong and need to deal with their pride, selfishness, and lack of love for their spouse.  They also probably have issues with lust and their relationship with God.)

Sorry for the rant…back to Michelle.

I have a list of things that I love about her- it has over 500 things on it so far!  Here are a few:

People LOVE Michelle.  I don’t know anyone who hates her.  Maybe at first they think “she’s faking it…no one can be that happy.  She’s just a blonde.”  But she’s relentless, and will eventually wear them down!

I threw it out on Facebook, and this is what people said: “regardless of how well you know her, you just know that you could talk to her about anything without the fear of being judged.”  “She is caring has a heart for people.”  “Her sweet nature.”  “She is honest, willing to give people a chance, is teachable, recognizes her areas of weakness and works on changing them, and her heart for the hurting is SO evident.”  “I love the way she tells stories- she is by far the best story teller I know.  She tells every story with such passion…even if it’s about a doughnut!”

She loves life.  The small things make her squeal.  Like cloud patterns and rainy days.  Like me telling her a story.  Like eating a really good hamburger, with ketchup.  Like a surprise date.  Like catching a mouse in our house.  I think I’d call it “verve.”

She wants a big family.  She loves God alot.  She is VERY QUICK to let God change her character.  Seriously, when God tells her something that needs to change in her life, she immediately TAKES IT OUT!

An example:
At one point Michelle realized that media was taking over her life, so she cut it out…completely.  For a whole month.  No TV.  No MSN (Facebook’s mother!). No radio.  No Movies.  Nothing.  Then she filled that time with seeking God’s will through Scripture, prayer, and spending time with real people.  It changed her life, and she never went back.

Michelle will be posting at No Boys Allowed about once a week.

There is SO MUCH that you can learn from Michelle:  she made it to marriage as a virgin.  She’s struggled through huge issues in her faith.  Her best friend died.  She had her heart broken by a boy (me, sadly) more than once.  She’s dealt with stress, ministry, leadership, friendship, back-stabbing, politics, and world issues.  Learn from her.  Take in her wisdom.  Let it change your life.  Then share it with others.

Michelle will start posting early next week, so get ready!

This might be a hot topic and cause some serious controversy, and I am TOTALLY cool with that!

First question: Would it be acceptable if your boyfriend, husband, or father went to a strip club?

Is it a sin for a guy to go into a strip club?  The Bible says that lust is a sin, and I would agree.  A guy going into a strip club is unacceptable…and he is sinning.

Second question:  What if we switched the word “strip” for “dance”?

“Wait Jay, are you saying that going to a dance club is the same as going to a strip club?!!!”

No.  But is it really that different?  It’s a CRAZY place for temptation.  Most people who go clubbing go there to drink hard.  To flirt.  To draw attention to themselves.  To flaunt it very immorally.  (Quite possibly more than) a few go home with strangers.

I know this might sound weird- for the most part, I think that clubbing is filthy.  I’ve had this conversation with a few close friends- they wouldn’t marry a girl who was ‘a clubber.’  They couldn’t trust her.

“Again, how is that the same as a strip club?!  Let me explain:

Men are VERY visual.  I cannot explain this enough- we see SHADOWS and we stand at attention.  We see anything and we go crazy!  So strip clubs (very visual) are a great place to be if that’s what you’re looking for.  It fulfills that need (momentarily), it makes us feel good, and it’s commitment-free.  It’s all about us.

Women, as you know, are much more into the emotional connection, the need for attention, affection, and affirmation.  And much like how the strip club works for guys, dance clubs often do the same job for girls.  It’s all about them.  I know SO MANY girls who have started clubbing and have fallen away from God.

Am I saying that a girl going to club is a sin?  No.  But it certainly can be, and for 99% of the people who do go, IT IS.   Would Christ go with me to strip club?  No.  Would he go with you to a dance club?  It totally depends on you.

I beg of you- be honest.  Question your truest, deepest intentions for going.  But don’t stop there.  (I don’t know about you, but I can convince myself of anything.)  Ask your pastor, a few godly friends, and your mentor.  If they all agree that your intentions and actions are 100% pure,
keep clubbing.  Otherwise, do what’s right.  Be on guard against temptation.   Be the kind of girl that attracts the right kind of guy.  FLEE from temptation.  Be careful.

Have a great weekend girls, and know that you are loved.

Jay

Early next week I will introduce you to the first of three lovely ladies who will be contributing regularly to The Sex Rev.  I am excited to hear what you will be learning, discussing, and sharing to others.

Can I ask you for a favour?  Over the weekend, I’m going to be working on a sort of ‘manifesto’ for the Sex Rev.  I would love it if you would send me your thoughts on what should be included in a belief/vision/mission statement on guys, girls, sex, and God.