On Friday I read something by Oswald Chambers that I wanted to share with you as this week winds down. I hope it serves as an encouragement to you.

“Perseverance means more than endurance - more than simply holding on until the end.  A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, ‘I can’t take any more.’  Yet God pays no attention; he goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God’s hands.  Is there something in your life for which you need pereseverance right now? Maintain your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ through the perseverance of faith.  Proclaim as Job did, ‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.’  Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God alone is Holy love. And even though you can’t see Him right now and cannot understand what he is doing, you know Him.  Jesus prayed, ‘This is eternal life, that they may know You…’(John 17:3). The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering.”

If you are feeling stretched beyond what you can bear, know that God has not lost His aim.

Michelle

What, you actually though nobody else knew?

Just because you and the boy go to church doesn’t fool anyone.

You’ve been messing around for years.  And as things tend to go, you eventually started sleeping together.

It has wrecked your spiritual walk, that much is clear.

It has destroyed some of your relationships, that’s obvious.

You want to change, but you don’t know how to end it.

You’re sick of hiding and living a lie, I can tell.

The entire story is written in your eyes.

Have you ever stopped to ask these questions...

Why would he marry you if he’s already having sex with you?

Why does he actually love you?

Are you worth so little?

What if he’s not your future husband?

What happens when your little secret goes public (pregnancy or otherwise)?

If he’s willing to cheat on his marriage with you, what’s stopping him from cheating our yours too?

Let me help you get inside a dark part of the guy’s mind…

Trust me on this, I know how we think…and your boy is no different.  Why do you think it takes much longer for some guys to get married?  Many are already getting everything they want.  Why marry when you’ve already got the goods?  Why commit to more responsibility when less will do just fine?  Why shell out tons of money for a wedding, a ring, a honeymoon, and an apartment when you can continue to live like an immature high-schooler?  Why do that when sex only costs as much as dinner and a movie?  It even makes me grimace to say, but let’s be very honest- for the literal majority of guys, you’re only as valuable as the availability of your vagina.

The truth is, the minute he realizes you’re done playing this game, he gone.  I’ve actually seen this happen before when a girl starts living in the light.  Maybe he’s gone the first night, maybe after the 20th rejection.  But he’ll be gone.

But it’s what you need to do if you ever expect to have God bring a godly man into your life who will love you for more than your body.  For a man who will commit. Cherish. Value. Protect. Provide. Encourage. Sharpen. Grow.

Let it go. Let go. Let God. Trust God. End it.

Jay

Gossip…it seems like I will never overcome it.  I try so hard to take it out of my life but somehow it creeps back in.  Either by listening to it or by speaking it.  And for some reason I find it the hardest around my CHRISTIAN friends.

Doesn’t that seem a little odd? Your Christian friends are suppose to help you not sin, and call you out on it when you do, so why does it seem like I gossip the most around Christians?  As I thought about this concept I tried to break it down, when did it seem like I fell into temptation and gossiped?  In a bible study.  Asking for prayer from others.  Reuniting with friends that I haven’t seen in a long time and recapping them on my life.

That’s it!  It’s when I don’t mean it to be gossip but it is.  When asking for prayer about a situation it usually starts out innocent but then either I offer too much information or the person asks for more details, which I should not share, yet with enough persuasion I do.  Then in my head I justify it by telling myself “they need to know more of the situation so that they can pray for me better”.   Or “she is just being a good friend and is wanting to know what is going on in my life.  In prayer God knows what you are talking about so people do not need to offer up all the information.  For some reason when people ask us how we are and how life has been we go into other people’s lives.  Saying phrases like “Did you hear….” “Guess what happened the other day….”  If someone asks you what has been new in your life, you should only talk about YOUR life.

As girls trying to live the life that God has called us we must help our fellow sisters in Christ stop gossiping.  Don’t ask for more details about a situation, say “I don’t need to know this”, yes it is hard, trust me its hard.  But we have to do it.  Or else sooner or later we will have dug ourselves a big hole with no friends (since no one will trust us). Proverbs 20:19 - A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

James 3 gives us a challenge…
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.  All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.  James 3: 3-12

Which will you choose to do with your tongue: praise your creator or gossip…you can’t do both.

Rebekah

Choosing to obey God and letting go of sin will set us free.  I am constantly reminded that God did not just save me from hell but also from myself and my destructive ways.  As mentioned in the previous post, there are some steps to take when trying to cut sin out of our lives.  I’ve learned that coming before God and asking forgiveness is only the first step.  God often works through people around us, and ending sinful habits also requires accountability.

Both Jay and I have accountability partners.  I have given my accountability partner a list of  questions that she asks me on a regular basis, and she gave me a list as well.  These aren’t just surface level questions like “how was your day today?” but questions that are deep and address the real issues we are dealing with.  The Bible tells us to confess our sins to each other so that we can be healed.  God designed us to live in community and to help each other. That’s the beauty of the church. If you don’t have an accountability partner, look for someone who is SAFE.  Some characteristics would be:

1. Someone you can trust
2. Someone who is on the same page spiritually as you are.  For those of you who are younger, a mentor (a godly woman who is older than you that you look up to) might be a better option.
3. Someone who is committed for praying for you and will not judge you for what you tell them.
4. Someone who is the same gender as you.

When you do find an accountability partner that you can trust, these are examples of questions that you can get them to ask you.  Create your own list and choose 4 or 5 to be held accountable for.

Did you stay pure with your boyfriend this week?  If not, how far did you go?  What have you watched this week?  What have you listened to this week? What have you read this week?  Did you gossip about anyone?  Did you masturbate?  Have you consistently read the Bible every day this week?  What lies of satan have you believed and what are you doing to live in the truth? Are you over-eating or under-eating? Did you dress in a way that would get guys to look at you?

I hope this encourages you to start living in the freedom that Christ purchased for us on the Cross.  Be blessed this week ladies!

Michelle

One of the things that drives me crazy, especially in Christian circles, is that there is an assumption that guys are the only ones who struggle with sexual temptation.  It is often assumed that women do not need to be preached at about masturbation, what they look at on the internet, what movies they watch, or what magazines they read.

I’d like you to answer some of these questions about yourself:

Do you watch movies or TV shows with graphic sex scenes?

Do you habitually masturbate to pleasure yourself sexually or as a means of resisting sexual involvement with others?

Do you read magazine articles entitled “Sex Tips” or “What a Man Wants in Bed” even though you are not married?

Does the music you listen to blatantly talk about sexual desires outside of marriage?

Do you go on websites that you wouldn’t want others to see you are visiting?

Do you dress/dance/act seductively? (be honest)

Are you sleeping with (or fantasizing about sleeping with) someone outside of marriage?

God designed us to be sexual beings.  But answering ‘yes’ to any of these questions demonstrates an area of vulnerability when it comes to purity.  If you were a soldier in a battlefield these would be holes in your armour, leaving you vulnerable and open to attack.  From a spiritual perspective, the longer you answer ‘yes’ to these questions, the more obvious to the enemy the holes in your armour become.

As my mother-in-law often says, obeying God always either protects us or provides for us.  I find this to be especially true when it comes to sexual purity.  Keeping sexual struggles a secret will rot you from the inside out, while confessing them to someone you trust and beginning a relationship of accountability will set you free.  Satan wants you to live in the dark, but God wants to fill every part of you with light and life.

Ladies, let’s stop sticking our heads in the sand and talk about what really matters.  My next post here at No Boys Allowed will talk about what the first step is to dealing with sexual sin.

Michelle