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Which Girl are You: The Glassy Calm or the Stormy Sea?
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4
I remember reading this verse and getting a bit offended. I can be fairly outgoing, and being quiet does not describe me very well at all. So I thought, “great, there is no hope for women who have a personality like mine.” But I learned that this verse is not talking about a gentle and quiet personality, but a gentle and quiet spirit. Nancy Wilson says:
“Certainly sometimes a quiet spirit will be exhibited by silence, but not always. And a quiet person can be all worked up on the inside. This is missing the point. A heart that is resting in the faithfulness of God is gentle and quiet; it is not stirred up with worry and anxiety. This gentle and quiet spirit is a calm, peaceful spirit. It is a tame spirit, a gentled spirit. I have often compared this kind of spirit to a glassy lake, not turbulent or troubled, but hardly showing a ripple. In contrast, the anxious spirit is like a stormy sea with whitecaps whipping along the shore.”
The women I know who have a gentle and quiet spirit are:
- steadfast in their faith,
- secure in their salvation,
- willing to love the unlovable,
- and unwilling to let stress get the best of them.
In contrast, I know many girls and women who lack a gentle and quiet spirit. They:
- get stressed easily,
- flirt excessively,
- are unwilling to forgive,
- hold onto bitterness,
- dress to get attention,
- and always want to be in control.
Shamefully, the second list often applies to me. But isn’t it awesome that our personalities do not determine the state of our spirit? I was so relieved to discover this. It allows us to be the unique individuals God created us to be while simultaneously encouraging us to become more and more like Christ. So, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, shy or outgoing, know that a gentle and quiet spirit is what God desires for your life.
Michelle
May 3rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I used to think the same thing. I was confused as to why God would want all women to be quiet. Through life I have learned that there are times to listen and not speak but God created us all different for a reason. God doesn’t want us to be cookie-cutter girls.
June 6th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I too struggled in understanding this verse. I felt that I would never measure up since I have never been a quiet human (and anyone who knows me even for a moment can attest to this). It is such a beautiful realization that it is not a personality change; rather, it is a development of character. The wonderful thing about developing ones character is that it is not a process of change that happens on your own. Character change happens when we allow God to take control of our lives. We can be that woman described as we daily allow God to shape our character and let Him smoothen out our lake. Thanks Michelle for your insight and wisdom;)