A couple days ago, my husband Jay tore up a picture.  And he did it out of love for me… let me explain.

We were in town at an internet cafe, and Jay had loads of work to do online.  I had just come down with bronchitis, and after a short time in the internet cafe I started feeling quite sick.  He was my ride home, and I asked him if we could leave early despite knowing he had important things to take care of for a few hours.  He had a moment of hesitation and looked frustrated for a couple minutes, but agreed to leave his work behind so I could rest.  And that was that, he did not complain about it for the rest of the day.

My very wise mother-in-law once said something to me that has stuck with me ever since: tear up the picture or tear up the person. We often get an image in our head of how we want something done, how we want something to look, or how we want something to go.  We have an ideal situation painted in our minds in most situations, and are disappointed when our plans do not fall in to place as expected.  In those times we must learn to tear up our ideal picture and paint a new one instead of hurting those we love out of frustration.  Jay chose that day to tear up his picture of an ideal afternoon getting work accomplished online in order to keep the picture of our relationship intact.

Do you ever tear down people when your ideal situation is compromised?  Are you good at painting new pictures when plans fail?  How do you do this?  Hopefully we can all get into a habit of practicing this more!

Michelle

A good friend of mine recently shared her prayer request with me: that she would become more disciplined.  Disciplined in her finances, her health, and her relationships.  Disciplined in prayer, reading God’s word, and doing what it says. 

When I got off the phone, Jay and I watched Kingdom of Heaven.  The story takes place during the early Middle Ages, and at one point a walled city is under siege by a group trying to overtake it.  As I watched the movie I thought, “Oh good, they have a wall to protect them. As long as the wall holds and they don’t run out of resources, the people inside are safe.”  Can you imagine being inside those walls, listening to the roaring army outside and praying that they don’t make it in?  It makes my problems seem very insignificant!

Proverbs 25:28 says that a person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls.

Bam.  By desiring to practice discipline and self control in all areas of her life, my friend is building a strong wall.  There is so much wisdom in this!  What will this protect her from?

Financial bondage, failure, debt, and regrets
Health problems related to lifestyle choices
Barren relationships and lack of community
Missing out on how God works through prayer
Lack of wisdom
Lack of judgment

What areas in your life need more self-control?  How are you preparing for an attack on your city?

Michelle

“Trials and troubles may seem to overwhelm you. They cannot do more than work my will, and that will you have said is your will. Do you see that you cannot be destroyed? From now a new life is opening out before you. Yours to enter into the kingdom I have prepared for you. The Sunlight of my presence is on your paths. Trust and go forward unafraid. My Grace is sufficient for all your needs.”

-A.J. Russell, God Calling

Some of you may really be struggling right now.  Maybe you are going through a break-up.  Or struggling with a severe illness.  Or having to hear your parents fight.  Or mourning over the loss of a loved one.

During my first year of university I went through a rough break-up, which was followed by the death of my best friend in a car accident 2 months later.  A year of darkness followed.  I remember hating waking up every morning because the reality would wash over me like a torrent.  My struggle can be summed up in one of my journal entries from that year:

“God, I feel like I’m drowning. Drowning in pain, confusion, doubts, and anger. The storm is raging against me, all around me, and I am so tired. I just want to give up. Relationships are not worth it because they all just end. God, where the hell are you? Why are you pounding me? JUST STOP IT - I am so tired - I can’t live like this. Please just DO something. You are so distant.”

I remember having the choice to either go through my pain with God, or to shake my fist and do it by my own strength. I chose to go through it with Him, and looking back I see how closely He held me through it all.

If a crisis in your life has brought you to a crossroads, I encourage you to walk through it with God.  He is not afraid of your confusion, anger, bitterness, or resentment.  He loves it when you are real and he loves you even when you don’t have energy to say or do anything.  Rest in Him, and he will give you peace.

Michelle

Hi Friends!  This week has been insane with mid-terms, work and starting into term papers…sometimes I wonder if I’m living through it, or just kind of floating along on top while someone else lives my life!  Here’s what I’ve been chewing on this week.

Accountability…do you have it in your life?  If not, find some!  Last semester, I allowed busyness to exclude several mentors and close friends from my life.  It was hands down one of the worst semesters of my life, as far as spiritual growth goes.   This semester, I made it one of my new year’s resolutions that not only was I going to prioritize time for those people to be in my life, but I was also going to choose two or three of them to be completely and totally honest with in every area of my life.

As I have allowed myself to spend quality time with these ladies and share openly with them, I have found that three main benefits have come out of it.

1.   Our relationships are deeper. As ladies of all ages often express a lack of community to me and how much they miss it, I have come to realize how beautiful and enriching it is to have true community.  Not just ladies to drink tea with, but ladies to share LIFE with.

2.    There has been healing in my life. Often times when events of the past hurt us, we go cover the pain and repress the memories so that we don’t have to deal with it.  I was walking through life thinking I had dealt with most of the issues of the past and yet as I started talking to my “big sister”  she was able to point out behaviors and beliefs in my life that are still very much a result of past hurts.  I’ll never forget her telling me that my life is very much like a chronic illness (and I think this can be said of all of us), we walk around in pain…but the more pain we are in, the less we recognize it and the more we just accept it.  It is only when true healing comes that we are fully aware of how much the pain was holding us back.

3.    Though the temptation to sin still pops up on a daily basis, I find that it is much easier to resist it. It doesn’t mean that I’m perfect now, or that I no longer sin.  However, knowing that I am going be talking with someone I love about my actions has stopped me from a lot of wrong.  Whether it is thoughts, entering relationships I shouldn’t be in, or that little white lie.  It’s hard to confess our sin to one another and no one wants to confess more than absolutely necessary!!!

So where are you at?  Who is there that you can have a completely open relationship in order that you might grow and find freedom in your walk with Christ?

Andrea

That’s What He Said

“I can’t trust a girl that is known to gossip.”

Oh my gosh.  Girls, as a dude, there are few things I HATE worse than a girl who is a ’spreader’.  Problem is, most people don’t even realize that they’re doing it.  For example, I once was talking with a girl, explaining how she really needed to stop gossiping about another person.  What did she do?  She went and talked to them about it!  Missed the whole point.

One of my wife’s closest friends is a HUGE gossip-hater.  (that’s a good thing!)  She started attending a college group at this great church, but after every service, they would go out to eat and everyone would gossip.  SHE LEFT THE GROUP!  Try to gossip around her- she’ll leave the room.  She hates it.  And that’s a good thing.

God hates gossip.  Relationships get ruined by gossip.  Gossip is a sin.  Cut it out.  Get rid of it.  Don’t let it near you!

But the answer isn’t to simply NOT spread gossip.  The point inside just to shut up.  It’s to go in the opposite direction- speak the truth in love.  RUN AWAY from gossip.  Pray for those around you.  Tell GOD on them!  Let your conversations consist of encouragement, laughter, prayer, and admonishment.  Sharpen each other.

Have a great day girls.