There’s a new book out right now by feminist blogger Jessica Valenti called “The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women”

The Book Description on Amazon.com
The United States is obsessed with virginity — from the media to schools to government agencies. In The Purity Myth Jessica Valenti argues that the country’s intense focus on chastity is damaging to young women. Through in-depth cultural and social analysis, Valenti reveals that powerful messaging on both extremes — ranging from abstinence curriculum to “Girls Gone Wild” infomercials — place a young woman’s worth entirely on her sexuality. Morals are therefore linked purely to sexual behavior, rather than values like honesty, kindness, and altruism. Valenti sheds light on the value — and hypocrisy — around the notion that girls remain virgin until they’re married by putting into context the historical question of purity, modern abstinence-only education, pornography, and public punishments for those who dare to have sex. The Purity Myth presents a revolutionary argument that girls and women are overly valued for their sexuality, as well as solutions for a future without a damaging emphasis on virginity.

Here’s the problem that Valenti is missing- sex goes way beyond simply ‘doing it’.  We’re talking about purity and righteousness…living a life that pleases God. The reasons that God created marriage was to set up protective boundaries so that women wouldn’t get hurt AT ALL.  Both extremes are dangerous places to be- whether the far-flung world of porn and prostitution, or the hyper-religious beliefs of not even being around boys until you marry one.

Valenti is right about something- we need to put less focus on virginity.  I know many girls who are now living PURE, HOLY, RIGHTEOUS lives despite their past mistakes and choices.  But Valenti is wrong about it too…she’s throwing out the baby with the bathwater. The solution isn’t to simply not care about virginity.  It’s to care more and more about character growth and becoming like Jesus.

Jay